


Spies and Shadows

by RhysTrash



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Azriel deserves the best, Cute, F/M, Illyrian, Night Court - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, post- a court of wings and ruin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-02 06:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14538462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhysTrash/pseuds/RhysTrash
Summary: Renia is an Illyrian warrior in training.  She stands out from the girls she trains with and a turn of events has her training under one of the greatest Illyrian warriors ever. (Azriel)Also she has a massive crush on him.





	1. Training

**Author's Note:**

> Trying something different!  
> Also, my email hasn't been working so I wasn't getting notified about comments, and I'm sorry if I come across as so rude for not replying! I didn't see comments and I'm awkward about replying, since one was dated as 73 days ago, that's a lot of days ago.

The only thing I like about being Illyrian, is being able to fly.  
To taste the skies and hear the song of the wind. I can’t imagine a time when I’d never be able to soar through the skies, just because I’m a female.  
I’d be lost without my wings, truly lost. Thankfully, wing clipping was banned in our camp. And now, we were allowed to train. I always wanted to fight in the Illyrian army. My mother’s heart broke when I told her that, she wanted me to follow in her footsteps and be a seamstress. I never cared for needles and thread, preferring blades and shields.

I was an only child, my father left us a few years ago, favouring a younger female than my mother. I was all she had left. I know she wanted me to work with her, but she was happier to see me follow my dreams.

I trained with the eight other girls in my camp, every single day.   
We had good fun together, even when we were pommelling each other into the ground.   
Training was tough today, I walked with the others to go clean up before going back home. I stripped off my leathers and took out simple pants and a shirt. No one was shy anymore, we’d spent enough time together to no longer care who saw what.  
The nine of us had grown very close since we’d started training. We saw ourselves as unstoppable. The fiercest fighters were Rashi, Fallira, Mila and Maren. The three brain boxes were Elia, Rosana and Georgie. Kallie was quiet, reserved, skilled with an Illyrian blade but she held back in training. It was obvious. Then there’s me, Renia, I’m not sure what my strength is. I’m good at sneak attacks and I can hold my own in a fight, I might not be savage like Rashi, Fallira, Mila or Maren, but I’m quick.

“So, out of all the Inner Circle, who would you ride?” Mila asked. Mila had no shame, she’d ask anyone anything, and this was her favourite topic at the moment.  
“Oh, Morrigan, one hundred percent.” Rashi replied, throwing an arm over Rosana’s shoulder.  
“Really? I’d pin you as more of an Amren person.” Rosana said.  
“Nah, Amren scares me a bit. Morrigan seems so friendly and sweet.”  
“I’d go with Cassian.” Maren said. “He’s so fierce and the stories about him from the war, ugh, he’s amazing. Plus he’s fine as hell.”  
“Rhysand. Ten out of ten.” Georgie piped in.  
“No way, the High Lord and High Lady are too perfect together, I could never come between that.” Elia said.  
The other girls muttered their agreement, before more names were tossed up.

“Cassian.”  
“I have to say Lucien Vanserra is tempting.”  
“High Lady’s sister. The cute one.”  
After many “Cassian”’s and debates between Morrigan and Amren, I decided to let myself be heard.

“Azriel.” I said.  
“Really?” Georgie asked.  
“Yeah, he’s so cool and calculated. He seems so quiet but I bet he’s interesting.” I replied.  
“Whatever you’re into Ren.”  
“But he’s too quiet.” Maren said.  
“So? Quiet is nice sometimes.”  
“I’m inclined to agree with that.” Kallie said.  
“I just think Cassian is more favourable. He’s definitely a wild one.” said Mila.  
“And you’re entitled to that opinion, as I am entitled to fancy Azriel.”

“YOU FANCY HIM?” Rashi yelled.  
“Well, no I hardly know him. He’s just handsome and nice.”  
“Someone’s crushing on the spymaster.” Rosana giggled.  
“Maybe a little bit.”  
“He might come looking for spies again. Maybe that’s your talent, Ren.” Fallira laughed.

I shrugged her off and headed home. I plopped down onto my bed, stretching my wings wide. It was already late. I knew I should eat, but I was too tired to even bother. I was asleep in an instant.

Weeks passed, I trained harder and harder everyday. Until one day our camp lord lined us up and made an announcement.  
“I’ve been testing you all for the past few months, determining your strengths and weaknesses. Five of you will move up to train with the army, whilst continuing your training here. Fallira, Mila, Rashi, Maren and Kallie.” We all kept still. I glanced across and noticed Rosana, her eyes looked watery, as if she was holding back tears. “Also, you’ve got a visitor girls, I’m not the only one who’s been monitoring your progress and skills.”

I was confused, who else was monitoring us? My question was answered when Azriel stepped forward. The shadowsinger held himself gracefully, shadows floating around him. Mila threw me a look that I ignored.

“It’s nice to meet all of you. I’m Azriel, the High Lord’s spymaster and shadowsinger. I’m looking for some new spies, and one of you meets the standard I’m looking for. Which one of you is Renia?” he asked.  
I stood forward slowly.  
“Myself and your camp lord have observed your skills over the past few months and I’d like to offer you to train with me and the other new spies.”  
I only nodded, willing myself not to blush. “I’ll be back in two days to begin training.” He spread his wings and shot into the skies.  
“Continue training.” the camp lord said.

I hopped into the ring with Kallie. I wanted to avoid the teasing, it was bearable most times, but I had a feeling today would be unbearable. I spotted Rashi chasing after Rosana and she ran away.  
I sparred with Kallie for a few minutes, eventually winning the match. She stood back up and I challenged Mila.  
“Okay, Lover Girl.” Mila laughed, jumping in. She threw punches, and landed most of them. She beat me in a matter of minutes and challenged Fallira.  
I watched them spar, not wanting to think about my spy training that was coming in two days.  
I liked the idea of being a spy, but my stupid crush was bothering me. I’d get over it, I knew I would.


	2. Mission Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renia has been training as a spy and is about to set off on her first mission.

Training with Azriel turned out to be better than I’d expected. Only three of us were training with him. I was the only female.   
It made me nervous at first, I knew exactly what some Illyrian males could be like, but thankfully, Troy and Luca were nice. We were preparing for our first missions.  
Mine was to be in the Autumn Court, rumours were flying high about Beron. Azriel suspected the High Lord was up to something, taking advantage of the wall coming down. He never mentioned if Rhysand had allowed this mission, but I had a feeling Azriel was straying from his High Lord’s commands.

Over the past few weeks, I’d grown quite close to Azriel, we were on a first name basis now, he gave me extra attention when we trained and even went flying with me sometimes.  
I liked getting the extra attention, but they made my plan to get over my stupid crush impossible. There was something there, a connection, a spark.  
I ignored it, I knew it would eventually fade to nothing.   
I was training in the ring with Troy, I was winning again. We were both bloodied up. Luca called an end to the match, we high fived and hopped out of the ring. I took a drink of water and sat down. I looked up when I heard the sound of wings.  
Azriel was flying towards us. He landed gracefully.

“How are you all today?” he asked. We all muttered our responses. “We leave tonight for our different missions. Luca, Troy, I need you to go to the Spring Court border, see if there are any disturbances, and then one of you can go ask Tarquin what the Children of the Blessed situation is like.”

“Who gets to go talk with Tarquin?” Troy asked, quickly.

“You seem eager to, so I’ll let you do it.” Luca replied.

“Anyway, Renia, I’ll be going with you to Autumn.” Azriel finished. 

My heart stopped, he was coming with me. On a mission. Just the two of us. This meant at least three days together, alone. I was excited and nervous.

“I’ll meet you all here in three hours, pack essentials for three days. Don’t worry about tents, I’ll have some for you.” he shot to the sky, leaving the three of us standing there in awe.

“Ooooh three days of nothing but Azriel and his shadows, you must be excited.” Troy said.

“I’m going on a serious mission, I don’t have time for this nonsense.” I replied.

“Oh, she’s definitely going home to make sure her hair is perfect for their getaway.” Troy laughed.

“Oh, go enjoy flirting with Tarquin.” I grumbled, setting off for home.

The trip to the Autumn Court wasn’t as exciting as I’d expected. I got to share a tent with Azriel for four night, but nothing interesting was happening with Beron.   
As we flew home Azriel was oddly quiet.

“Are you okay?” I asked, swooping in closer to him.

“Something seems off, it was all too quiet there. Maybe the information was wrong. Somewhere else might be messing with the border.” he replied.

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it.” I offered, patting his shoulder. He looked at where my hand met his shoulder, I drew back quickly.

“What are you doing for Starfall?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I’ll probably end up sitting on our roof to watch.” I replied. Why did he care?

“You could come to Velaris for it, if you wanted to. You don’t have to. But if you’d like to.” he was rambling. Bless him.

“I’d love to.”

“Great. That’s great.” I beamed to myself, turning so he couldn’t see me blushing. I was so lost in thought I didn’t notice the forest approaching, or the tree I was about to fly into. “REN, TREE!” Azriel yelled. I swerved just in time, crashing into a different tree. Azriel laughed before flying down to me. I rubbed my head and swore. He extended a scarred hand to me, I took it and stood. “Are you okay?” he removed some leaves from my hair, brushing my hair behind my ear. He held my face gently.

“I’m okay.” I breathed.

“Good.” he whispered, not letting go. As if snapping out of a trance, he dropped his hand. “Come on, we’re nearly home. No more crashing into trees.” he laughed.

We shot into the sky, I didn’t crash into any more trees. Thankfully.   
Now I just needed to find a dress for Starfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on the third chapter for this, because I want to right Starfall asap. But the next chapter of U.P. is nearly done so I should have that up in a few days. Hopefully!!!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!!


	3. A Sky Full of Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starfall with Renia and Azriel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear I posted this yesterday, but it disappeared???

“You don’t have to help.” I muttered. Georgie was hearing none of it. Herself and Fallira had taken it upon themselves to find me a Starfall dress, that meant traipsing around the different shops, asking different seamstresses about dresses. I’d warned them to keep their mouths shut, they weren’t to say who was meeting me at Starfall, or that I was going to Velaris.

“We have to find you a dress! It’s tonight! Fucking hell, Ren, you leave everything so last minute!” Fallira said.

“I’ll find something, if not I can just wear my leathers.” I said.

“Wear your leathers, and I will personally kill you.” Georgie piped up, popping her head from behind a mannequin. “What colour do you even want?” she asked.

“I don’t know, blue? Maybe purple?”

“What about this?” Fallira pulled out a grey dress. “At least try it on.”  
I went into the room at the back of the shop to try it on. I loved it. The top was tight, there was only one strap that went around my neck, silver diamonds scattered all over it. A belt of black and silver diamonds cinched the material at my waist, before the flowing material flowed to my ankles. I loved it.   
I stepped out to show Georgie and Fallira.

“Buy it. Now!” Georgie said. Fallira agreed with her. I paid for it, buying the shoes that went with it, silver and black diamond heels.

“I’ll do your makeup when we get back.” Fallira said. 

“And I’ll do your hair!” Georgie offered. I rolled my eyes, there was no arguing with them.

“Thank you.”

I sat on my bed, Fallira was applying things I couldn’t identify to my face, and I was convinced Georgie was trying to kill me. She braided two small locks of hair and tried them together, securing them with a silver hair pin. She curled the rest of my hair and surveyed her work. Fallira had lined my eyes and applied red lip paint to my lips. She’d done other stuff to my face, but I didn’t know what.  
I liked how I looked. I looked beautiful. I put the dress on and slipped into the heels. I stretched my wings out a bit. The back of the dress was low enough not to disturb my wings.

“Go! Go meet him! Tell us everything!” Fallira said, ushering me out the door. Mum had disappeared for the day, I knew she’d be home later.  
I spread my wings and took to the skies. I wanted to fly to Velaris, see it from above. Azriel would be there with the Inner Circle anyway, I’d find him when I arrived.

I landed a bit away from the party and walked the rest of the way. There were so many people, I was worried I would get nasty looks for being Illyrian, but nobody commented on that. I received a few compliments as I walked through the crowds. I smiled and thanked them, complimenting their outfits and hairstyles. Everyone looked so unique and so amazing.  
I spotted Morrigan dancing with several other High Fae, she looked beautiful. Her golden hair bounced around her as she moved, she was wearing a stunning red dress. She caught my eye and smiled, before turning back to her companions.

I glanced around looking for Azriel. I noticed my High Lord and High Lady on a balcony above the party. They looked so in love, Rhysand kissed Feyre gently before they winnowed down to join the party. They immediately began dancing together. I looked at them in awe, I wanted to find that kind of love one day.  
I danced with many people, High Fae and faerie alike. I drank some of the wine too, which was a bad decision. 

The stars began to pass by, I looked up in wonder, everyone stopped to admire them. I was too busy looking at the stars, I didn’t notice Azriel come up behind me.  
“You look beautiful.” he whispered. I jumped and turned.

“You don’t look bad either.” I replied. I was feeling giddy. Perhaps I’d had a bit too much wine.

“Dance with me.” he said, holding his hand out. I took it and he spun me across the dance floor. I gazed into his gorgeous hazel eyes, getting lost in our movements. He twirled me and held me close, too my surprise I didn’t stand on his feet. I lost track of time, we danced and chatted and drank. He introduced me to the Inner Circle. I was so honoured.  
When he introduced me to Rhysand and Feyre they laughed at my formal language. Morrigan hugged me, despite never meeting me. She even told me to call her Mor. Cassian laughed at Azriel, I wasn’t sure why. He’d introduced me as a spy he was training. It’s not as if I was made out to be special.

They went their separate ways, dancing in different directions across the dance floor. Azriel spun me and tugged me down towards an empty corridor. I laughed up at him, giddy from all the fun I was having.  
He brushed my hair behind my ears. I giggled and felt myself blush. His hand rested on my cheek.

“You look beautiful.” he whispered.

“Thank you, so do you.” I replied.

“Renia…” before I knew what to do, his lips were on mine. And I was kissing him back. My heart sang, I pulled him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands trailed down my sides and into my hair. He held me tightly, his tongue sliding into my mouth.  
Then I felt it.  
Something snapped within me.   
The mating bond.  
Azriel was my mate.

I drew back and looked at him, he didn’t seem to notice anything. How couldn’t he have felt it? I kissed him again, faster, demanding more. He lifted me slightly and pinned me to the wall. I felt the bond shining between us, kissing him harder. He pressed his hips against mine, I moaned quietly.  
He pulled away quickly. His eyes widened.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so so sorry.” he said, before disappearing into the shadows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having so much fun writing this, it's so different from writing Feysand. Don't get me wrong, I live for writing Feysand. I should have U.P. up by the end of the week.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Hopefully it doesn't disappear


	4. Get Out of My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renia hasn't seen Azriel since their kiss on Starfall. She wants to get him out of her mind, but her heart will not allow that.

I couldn’t get Azriel out of my head, the way his lips had felt against mine, the way his hands had felt on me, the way his scent wrapped around me. It had just felt so right, so meant to be. I couldn’t believe he was my mate, we needed to talk about that. I’d understand if he didn’t accept the bond, but he’d kissed me, so obviously he felt something towards me.I was overwhelmed with feelings about him, I thought it might be love. I’d never felt this way before and relished in the feeling of being in love. Well it could be love, could be something else. I wanted to see him again. Badly. He hadn’t shown up to train us in a while. I had a mission coming up, and I wanted to be prepared, but Azriel was no where to be seen. Troye and Luca had noticed his absence too. Troye was worried we wouldn’t be prepared for our various missions. I was worried too, but I knew Azriel would show up.

He showed up two weeks after Starfall, the kiss was still replaying in my mind. I thought I’d get over it by now. Two weeks was a lot, wasn’t it? I was stronger than this, I wouldn’t let it play on my mind for another second.  
Well that was the plan, until I saw him flying towards us. Troye and I were in the ring sparring. We stopped immediately as Azriel landed.  
“Keep it cool, Ren.” Troye laughed, noticing my blush. “I’m sure you’ll get your moment alone with him.”

“Shut up.” I grumbled, nudging my elbow into his ribs. Azriel walked towards the three of us. We’d become closer, me, Luca and Troye. The three of us were unstoppable together.

“Are you all feeling prepared for your missions?” Azriel asked.

“We actually wanted to talk to you about that.” Troye started. “We don’t know if we’re prepared or not, you haven’t been here in a fortnight. I’m not even sure where I’m going.”

“I know, I’m sorry about that. I’ll run through the plans with you all now, privately. You can come along first, Troye.” Troye walked off with Azriel. They were deep in discussion in a matter of seconds.

“Looking forward to your one on one with Azriel?” Luca teased.

“I’m feeling fine.” I shrugged.

“Even after your magical kiss?” he asked.

“Shut up, it wasn’t magical.” I hadn’t told them about Azriel being my mate, there was a chance I’d be rejected by him, no one else needed to know until I was certain. Luca was called next to speak with Azriel. I felt like he was avoiding me. Or maybe he was saving the best for last?  
I was called an hour after he finished speaking to Luca. I walked inside the tent, holding my head up high. Troye winked at me as I walked in. 

“So, you leave for Hybern next week. You know what to do, right?” he asked.

“Yes, I have to get inside the castle, suss out the new king or queen and report back as quickly as possible.” I replied.  
“Good. Good. Any idea how you’ll get in?”

“Sneak in, like I always do?”

“If it works, it works. Just be prepared for an attack. Hybern is well warded.”

“I can look after myself.” I laughed.

“I know you can.” he said, he was avoiding meeting my eyes. I decided to be brave, to just go with the flow and see what happened. I walked towards him, turning his head to face me. I didn’t think about what I was about to do, I just leaned up and kissed him. He kissed me back and wrapped his arms around me. I melted into the kiss, until he pushed me away. 

“Stop.” he said. I looked up at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you on Starfall. I’m sorry.” My heart tore in two.

“But-”

“I don’t want to hear it, I’m sorry. I made a mistake. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” he said.

“Hurt me? I thought you liked me. I thought-” I thought you felt the mating bond, was what I wanted to say.

“You thought wrong, okay? I’m sorry. I’m your trainer and you’re just another spy.”

“Just another spy?” I repeated. I turned and left the tent.

“Wait.” I didn’t look back. Tears welled up in my eyes. “Ren!” I kept walking. Ignoring his words.  
Just another spy.  
Just another spy.

“Ren, Ren are you okay?” Troye asked, throwing an arm over my shoulder.

“Leave me alone.” I choked out. I spread my wings and shot into the skies.

“REN!” I heard Azriel yell. I glimpsed down once, to see Troye punch Azriel in the jaw. I kept flying. I cursed Azriel, cursed him for his charm working on me, cursed him for being my mate, cursed him for making me fall in love with him. I flew home, I spotted Georgie and Kallie walking. I flew down to them and threw my arms around Georgie. I let the tears come free, sobbing into her shoulder. Kallie hugged me from behind. Both of them whispering soothing words to me.

“Ren, what happened?” Georgie asked.

“I’m just another spy to him. Those were his exact words.” I cried.

“Come on, let’s get you indoors.” Kallie said, the three of us linked up and walked to Georgie’s house.

“Tell us what happened.” Kallie said. Georgie handed me a cup of hot chocolate. We all sat on her bed. We sat under the covers together, huddled up.

“After we kissed on Starfall, I thought I meant something to him. We kissed today then he pushed me away, said it was all a mistake he’s my trainer and I’m just another spy.” I’d stopped crying. I would shed no more tears for him. He didn’t deserve them.

“It’s okay, you’ll move on. Find someone better.” Georgie said, stroking my hair.

“Yeah, it’s not as if he’s your mate or anything.” Kallie laughed. Georgie shot her a glare. Tears welled up in my eyes again.

“He is.” I whispered.

“He’s what?” Georgie asked.

“My mate.”

“Oh, honey.” they both put their cups down and hugged me. I would not cry. I held in the tears. I was brave. I was strong. I would not cry for him.

 

My mission arrived, I hadn’t gone back to train with Troye or Luca since that night. I set off first thing that morning. The girls waved me off and wished me luck. I held my head high, letting my confidence flow through me. I was ready. I was going to succeed. I landed in Hybern quickly enough. I crept up the palace and kept myself hidden in the shadows. I flew through an open window on the top floor, into the main chambers. The new king or queen must be sleeping here. I did a scan of the room. Nothing. Empty, save for the four poster bed. I exited and walked down the corridor. I heard movement and hid behind a pillar, blending into the shadows.  
The footsteps left, I breathed a sigh of relief. I felt a hand at my shoulders, panic flooded my veins.

“Hello lovely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I'll update UP this week.  
> Me: Writes another chapter of this.


	5. Just Another Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up from last chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT SMUT SMUT

My heart pounded, I’d been caught. I turned to face my opponent.

“What are you doing sneaking around my castle?” she asked. She was regal. She had rich brown skin and hair like spun gold. Her bright green eyes were fixated on mine. “Illyrian? It’s been a while since I played with one of your kind… and a female. This shall be interesting.” she crooned. I backed away, but her grip was tight. “Síofra!Colm!Now!” she shouted. Pain tore through my leg. Two arrows had been fired, one found it’s place in my right calf. I screamed. Ash arrows dipped in poison. I spread my wings and shot up towards the ceiling. “Come down, little bat. You don’t have long.”  
“Go fuck yourself.” I spat at her.

“How dare you speak to a queen like that?” she roared. I drew my blades from my boots, keeping my sword sheathed down my back. “The bat has steel.” she laughed. My attackers drew more arrows, firing at me. I curled my wings in tight and dodged them, flying towards them. I knocked the bows from their hands and took some of the arrows from their quivers. I flung one as hard as I could, it landed in the queen’s shoulder. She bellowed in agony. I threw the other two, one landed in Colm’s back, the other in Síofra’s hand. I flew back out the window before they could follow me.  
I circled the castle once, twice. I grew tired as I flew. The poison was taking it’s toll. I tried to tear the arrow from my leg, but it splintered. When I looked in the window, the three of them lay dead on top of each other. It looked as if Colm was protecting his queen from Síofra and the three of them had died in the conflict.No one would know what happened. I hadn’t left anything behind. I flew across the sea, heading home. I couldn’t make it very far.  
I began to fall. I lost control of my wings. I heard a splash and everything went dark. The last thing I heard was someone shouting my name.

 

My head hurt, my leg hurt. Everything hurt. I dreamed of Azriel’s voice. He even plagued my dreams. Why couldn’t I get this male out of my head? He repeated my name several times. I dreamed of his hands in my hair, our bodies pressed together, but mostly, I dreamed of his voice, whispering my name over and over.

“Get out of my head.” I groaned. I heard a sigh of relief. My eyes twitched open. I rubbed my eyes and blinked a few times The room came into focus. I panicked, where was I? I remembered the queen’s smirk and I remembered the arrow. I jumped up. I was on a bed, large enough for my wings to lie comfortably.

“You’re okay.” a soothing voice said. Azriel

“Azriel?” I asked. My head still felt dizzy. Before he could answer, my head fell back against the pillow. Sleep claimed me again. I dreamed about what happened, it came flooding back in my dreams. The poison, the archers, the queen.  
I woke alone, part of me felt like I’d dreamed Azriel was there.  
I probably had imagined it, why would he bother coming to see me? I was just another spy after all.  
“Hello?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t alone in here. An older woman entered the room. 

“Good you’re awake.” she started doing her various tests to see if I was okay.  
“Where am I?” I asked.

“Velaris. Azriel found you in the Sidra, he brought you here and called for me.” she replied.

“Where is here?”

“His home.” I blinked. Why would he bring me here? Instead of just ditching me somewhere.“Your leathers were destroyed, there’s a tunic and some pants in the corner of the room.” the healer, Madja, said as she left the room. I changed into the clothes, I was pulling the tunic over my head when I heard a knock at the door. I assumed it was Madja.

“Come in.” I called. The door creaked open, I glanced over my shoulder.

“How are you feeling?” Azriel asked.

“What’s it to you?” I replied, coldly. I turned away from him.

“You crashed into the Sidra, unconscious and poisoned, I was worried sick about you!”

“Why does it matter? I’m just another spy after all.” I threw his words back in his face.

“You know that’s not true.” he mumbled.

“Do I?” I rolled my eyes.

“Yes!”

“If I’m not just another spy, then what am I?” I demanded.

“You’re, you’re…” he was lost for words, obviously he had nothing to say/

“I’m what, Azriel!” I said, impatiently.

“Everything! You’re….” he froze. Shadows danced around him. His eyes met mine. “Mine.” he whispered. The mating bond snapped into place. “How long have you known?” he breathed. It was my turn to freeze. “How long have you known?” he asked again, louder this time. “How long, Ren!”

“Starfall!” I shouted. I took a deep breath. “Since you kissed me at Starfall.” He kept staring at me.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I know you don’t feel the same way about me as I do about you. Because you kissed me on Starfall, then tossed me aside like I was nothing! You told me I was just another one of your spies! You broke my heart once, why would I let you do it again?”

“And how do you feel about me?” he whispered.

“No. That’s not fair.” I started to cry. My heart was aching. I wanted to kiss him and kick him at the same time.

“Well, Ren. If I feel so differently about you, you’re going to have to tell me what you feel. I already know my feelings.” I didn’t open my mouth. Tears were sliding down my face. “Ren, please.” he whispered.

“I love you.” my voice was barely a whisper. There it was, that confession my heart had been begging me to realise. I was in love with someone who could never love me. He crossed the room and stood before me. I stared at the ground, taking a few steps back. My back hit the wall. He followed me and stood in front of me again. I looked at his feet. I wouldn’t meet his eyes, I couldn’t. His fingers came to my chin gently. I kept my face pressed down, refusing to look at him.

“Please, Renia.” he whispered. I wiped at my face quickly, it was useless, tears were still flowing out of my eyes. I couldn’t stop crying. He tilted my chin up. “I love you too.” he breathed.

“You do?”

“Yes, I tried to hide it. Pretend you were nothing to me, but I’ve been falling in love with you for a long time now. When we first met, I knew there was something special about you. And as we grew closer, I couldn’t deny it anymore. I loved you. Then Starfall came around, and I am so so sorry for kissing you and tossing you aside. I never meant to kiss you, I lost control of myself. I tried to keep that boundary between us. When you kissed me, I assumed it was because you’d had too much to drink, not because you returned my feelings. And I was stupid. I shouldn’t have avoided you. I should have talked to you. I shouldn’t have decided we were better apart, how stupid was I? I know what I did is unforgivable, but please, Renia, I love you. And I am honoured to be your mate. Truly honoured, but I understand if you don’t want me.” I tried to hold in a smile, tried to pretend I could keep my strong mask in place.

“I love you, Azriel. I have for a while, but I told myself I didn’t deserve you.”

“It’s me that doesn’t deserve you.” he interrupted.

“Well obviously the Cauldron thinks we deserve each other.”

“Sometimes that thing proves to be useful.” he mumbled. He placed a hand on my cheek, holding my face gently.

“As I was saying.” I continued, Azriel chuckled. “I told myself I didn’t deserve you, and then tried to tell myself you didn’t deserve me.” he opened his mouth, but I raised my finger. “But none of that matters, I love you, Azriel. Being your mate is the greatest honour the Cauldron could have bestowed upon me.” He wiped all my tears away.

“I love you.” he whispered, his hand resting against my cheek. I abandoned my cares and worries and leaned up to kiss him. My heart felt like it was glowing, like my soul was entwining with his. I reached up and thread my fingers through his silky, black hair. He wrapped his arms around me, deepening the kiss. His tongue brushed mine, I felt like I was on fire. And I wanted to burn. He hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed me faster, harder, pressing our bodies together. “Renia…” he breathed, moving to kiss my neck. I gasped at the feeling of his lips on my skin.

“Don’t stop.” I whispered. He continued attacking my neck, my hands found his wings, stroking gently. He bit down on my neck when my fingers traced a sensitive spot. He groaned quietly, so I did it again. He moved from my neck to look at me.

“Keep that up and we won’t be leaving this room for a while.” he growled. I’d never seen him like this before, so unleashed. His shadows had disappeared, leaving us alone. I wanted all of him.

“That was the plan.” I smirked, caressing his wings again. He growled and kissed me again, rough and demanding. I moaned into the kiss, my hands sliding under his shirt. I ripped it from him, needing to feel his skin against mine. He undid the buttons on my tunic slowly. He pushed my shirt over my shoulders, his lips never leaving mine. He lifted me away from the wall and dropped me down onto the bed, looming over me, pressing kisses to my collar bone. He ground his hips against mine, I grabbed at him, drawing him closer to me, pressing my lips to his. His hands slid to my trousers, I hitched a breath. He pulled back immediately.

“Are you okay?” he breathed, breathlessly. I nodded. “If you’re nervous, we can wait.”

“I don’t want to wait.” I replied, kissing him gently.

“Ren…” he started, but stopped when I ran my tongue over his lips and kissed him soundly. I reached for the leather pants, undoing the laces holding them up, he kicked them off and began to remove my trousers. I threw my legs around his waist, he kissed my neck, biting and sucking in all the right places. His lips travelled down my body, I pulled the band covering my breasts over my head and tossed it aside. He growled his approval and trailed kisses down to my breasts, taking a nipple in his mouth. My hands dove into his hair as his kisses moved lower. He tugged my underwear down with his teeth, I shuddered at the sight of it. He stopped at my knees and pulled them the rest of the way down. I shivered with anticipation. He kissed my thighs, biting gently as he went, sucking marks into my skin.

“Azriel, please.” I breathed. He continued his teasing, taunting me with his lips and teeth. “Azriel.” He ignored me again, but kissed me closer to where I wanted him. “Azriel.” I pleaded. He ran a finger between my legs, feeling the wetness gathered there. 

“You’re soaked for me, Ren.” he crooned, his voice was sultry, sexy, spurring me on.  
“What are you going to do about it?” I panted. He smirked before sliding his tongue through my centre. I threw my head against the pillow, sighing contently.

“You taste… divine.” he groaned, licking me roughly. His tongue circled my clit and he inserted a finger into me. I moaned his name, he picked up his pace, adding a second finger. I cried out his name as I came close to shattering. He kept going, bringing me over the edge. I screamed his name as I came, my thighs shuddering beside his head. He came up and kissed me again, I groaned into the kiss and pulled him closer to me. I reached down and removed his undershorts, tossing them across the room. He nudged at my entrance.

“Please.” I whispered, against his lips. He kissed me deeper, fingers drawing patterns on my wings. I gasped, he trailed over a sensitive part of my left wing and slid in at the same time. I kissed him harder, throwing my legs over his waist, urging him deeper. He began to move slowly. “Please.” I said again. He picked up the pace slightly.

“Say my name, Ren. I want you screaming my name when I make you come.” he whispered in my ear. I shuddered as he slammed in again, moaning. “Come on, Ren. Say my name.”

“Azriel.” I gasped, he went faster, harder. “Azriel.”  
The room was filled with the sound of skin smacking skin, breathy moans and the creaking bed. My back arched, I dragged my hands over his wings as he slammed into me. I was seeing stars, lighting flashed between us. My body felt strong and weak at the same time, I was completely at his mercy… and I liked it. “Azriel!” My muscles clenched as I came, shuddering and gasping as he kept going. I opened my eyes, staring into his. His breathing was laboured, we were both covered in sweat. I moved his hair from his eyes, my own eyes fluttering shut as I came again. Azriel leaned down, kissing my neck.

“I love you.” he breathed as he spilled himself inside me. He slowed his thrusts before pulling out. He lay down beside me. I rolled on my side and kissed him.

“I love you.” I said, against his lips.

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on a chapter for UP now, but I kinda want to do a Blue Starlight one, idk what will be updated next.   
> I don't know whether to continue this or not, feedback is much appreciated! I want to write about their relationship and I love writing Ren's character.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about this idea for a while, feedback is much appreciated as always! I'm working on a new chapter for University of Prythian and Blue Starlight at the moment, chances are Blue Starlight will be updated first but I'll try get them both up soon!  
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
